We get to know Eric Loesch as if we’re meeting him, learning only superficial tidbits. At first his outbursts are amusing, like a new friend acting out. As the novel progresses, it exudes a growing sense of creepiness as we gradually learn his local history, and eventually the personal horrors of his past. We fear that if we laugh too hard at his antics or look at him too directly, we might be the next target.

As an exercise in character development, Castle is excellent. It felt complete and real, as accurate as a first-person reality can be. The plot is somewhat disjointed, however. I suspect Mr. Lennon knew in advance the various patchwork pieces he wanted to include, but didn’t find the best way to sew them up. Overall, this doesn’t detract too much from the book as it is clear that each segment, however rough the transition, is necessary to see the complete picture. I would recommend reading this book as quickly as possible, to improve its fluidity. I would also recommend reading it with the lights on.

Black Flies was excellent – highly recommended. A former paramedic in Harlem, Burke isn’t the strongest writer in an academic sense. But he writes with an incredibly strong voice, stronger than many novelists who may be considered to be technically “better” writers. Though categorized as a novel, Burke writes so graphically, drawing (I assume) from his own experiences, that I had to keep reminding myself it was fiction. An outstanding book, but not for the faint of heart.

But that’s the particularly difficult corner the Republican Party has painted itself into. The number of people who benefit from its economic policies isn’t large enough to win elections. In its quest to build a coalition, it turned to “values” voters: people who see the world only in black and white. Voters like Tony Perkins, president of the warm-and-fuzzy-sounding Family Research Council, who declared in the New York Times today that Republicans are finally having a come-to-Jesus moment. “Are they going to be a party that attracts values voters, and are they going to be the party that lives by those values?” he asked.

Being the values party means living in black and white, and that isn’t sustainable. What we’re seeing now are the inevitable falls from grace of politicians – real people – who held themselves above the gray world of reality. The facade of moral perfection has a very short shelf life. It has begun to spoil, but Republicans are looking for the cause of the stench in all the wrong places.

Relying on voters who don’t live in a gray world has already cost the party voters who do. If they continue this strategy, the combined imperfection and intolerance of their candidates will cost them their existence. It may take a while, but I think we’re seeing the swan song of the Republican Party.

But once it started airing, I bet “Presidential Idol” be a smash hit. The winner would likely get tons of free publicity by way of the media, and with successful management, they’d have a real shot at the presidency.

The first episodes would be like American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance: a panel of judges would visit different cities around the country, listening to 2 or 3 minute stump speeches by presidential hopefuls.¹ Auditioners would be required to have no previous political experience. Rounds would progress with different challenges, until the field had been narrowed down to a dozen or so, and then America would start eliminating candidates by phone vote. The leading candidates would likely be populist, moderate, and have compelling backstories.

A smart show producer would take a cue from real campaigns at this level of the show. Viewers could be able to go online, get a list of registered voters, and make phone calls on behalf of their favorite candidate. Since they’re calling about the TV show and not the actual presidential vote, it (probably) wouldn’t be breaking election law regarding a corporation’s support of a candidate. The process could have an incentive along the lines of “whoever calls the most gets to be on the show”, or something to that effect.

To further boost the show’s grassroots efforts, they could attempt to build an entire party, with candidates running in a primary at the congressional level, powered mostly through the show’s website. The television show would be focused on the presidential race, but it could spend 10 minutes or so each episode highlighting one or two of these smaller races around the country. People would become dedicated to the program with this extra content, and perhaps the new party would incite a Ron Paul-style internet movement – this time, though, the movement would be made up of the reality TV audience, not nerds.

Once the winner is picked, the network would cut all ties with the candidate, and they’d start out on their own. The media attention would likely be enough to get a huge number of donations and volunteers, and with the correct management, the candidate could make the jump to independence without a hitch. A smart winner would continue the ideas of the show, by having a regular web video program, and rewarding top volunteers with mentions.

The biggest key to success, I’d bet, is how the media latched on to the story. If it were an election like 2000 or 2004, where a popular opinion was that the two major candidates were both bad or too similar, the Presidential Idol might be heralded by the press as a savior for the system. Entry to the debates would be assured (”Tonight’s top story: the Commission on Presidential Debates continues to deny ____ entry to the first debate of the year. What are they afraid of?”). But if it were an election like 2008, where Barack Obama’s historic nomination seemed to rule things, they might regard the winner as a product of bad American entertainment and a joke.

The fact that Presidential Idol would be successful may sound a little scary, but I’m not sure it’d be all bad. With no previous political experience, the candidate would have no ties to lobbyists, no favors to pay to other politicians, and no hedged stances on issues like gay marriage and health care. They didn’t have to win a partisan primary, so they didn’t have to sell out moderate stances to woo over an activist wing. The only other way to achieve this sort of independence, really, is to run a completely self-funded campaign. (And that’d require some serious eccentricity.)

Now, if the candidate actually won, I have no idea what would happen. I do believe that the show would produce someone very capable – even though they came from a TV show, viewers would probably take their decision very seriously. (Look at how much serious discussion was had about Adam vs. Kris.) My bet would be on a 40-something successful small business owner, who worked his way up from nothing, probably some military experience, and a young family. The Idol’s cabinet would likely be a mixture of Republicans, Democrats, and experts from the private sector.

Would the country survive? Well, the winner couldn’t do worse than Bush.

_{Note 1: The age requirement for the presidency, 35+, might hurt the show. There’s a reason American Idol has an age limit of 29 – they’re harder to market when they get older. Maybe “Congressional Idol”, with a minimum age of just 25, would be more successful.}

1. I grew up thinking that I would be a vet, and build a house on my parents’ property.

2. Twitter was the last website I was at before coming here.

3. Why don’t you learn something new today?

4. Exercising helps me relax.

5. Thanks for the memories.

6. Screaming children are very off-putting.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting rid of my headache, tomorrow my plans include giving Lilly a bath and going through Martha Stewart’s monthly cleaning checklist and Sunday, I want to finish my book – or start a new one!